:) forðâ lapa:):):):):):)

Noèiepu saviem studentiem. Viens bija izdomâjis to lasît retorikâ, bet es neieteicu.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Vitolds ar tramvaju ir Johny razhojums, shis taadus Delfos saliek komentaaros peec atbilstoshi ierosinoshaam zinjaam. :)

Zinja:
http://www.tvnet.lv/zinas/latvija/kriminalzinas/article.php?id=134284
Koments:
http://www.tvnet.lv/zinas/latvija/kriminalzinas/comments.php?oid=134284&tab=news&no=1

Ja ir veelme - vairumaa:
http://www.multiblog.lv/main/index.php/2006/01/20/ johnny-uzdarbojas-ieks-lv-zinu-portaliem-ar-forsiem-rakstiniem/

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

nu, ne par medicînu, bet... izraisîja manî rçku :)))

Eksâmena laikâ pasniedzçjs ievçro, ka viena skolniece galîgi neko nezina, un pieiet viòai klât:
"Vai jums ðî nakts ir brîva?"
Skolniece samust, bet saòemas un atbild:
"Jâ..."
"Nu, tad izmantojiet to, lai kârtîgi samâcîtos nâkamajam eksâmenam!"

No þurnâla `Mçríis` :DD vnk... nu tâda divdomîga ;DD lol..

es pasniedzeeja vietaa buutu pateicis: man arii briiva.... :D

Dzîve ir kâ tualetes papîra rullis- jo tuvâk beigâm, jo âtrâk ripo...

Vispâr jau bçdîgi:(

skolniekiem skolâ bija nu tâdas med palîdzîbas mâcîbas
viens dþeks treniòbiksçs bija nolikts tçlot, kla ðim lausta kâja, sarkana krâsa uz biksçm, pats vaid nu viss kâ pienâkas
meitenes protams tçlo pirmâs palîdzîbas sniegðanu, kamçr klases skaistâkâ meitene pielaìo ðinu kâjai un sâk ar marles saiti tâ neveikli saitçt, dþekam notiek erekcija
meitene kâ ierauga ðito brînumu, tâ fiksi, fiksi ar marles saiti piesaitç sô atmoduðos brînumu pie ka'jas
abi sarkani kâ toma'ti

Îss ieskats ideoloìijâs :)
>
> The Ten Commandments Of : "**** Happens"
>
> Taoism : **** happens
> Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
> Buddhism : If **** happens, it isn't really ****
> Hinduism : This **** has happened before
> Islam : If **** happens, it is the will of Allah
> Catholicism : If **** happens, you deserve it
> Protestantism : Let **** happen to others
> Lutheran : If **** happens, don't talk about it
> Seventh Day Adventism: No **** shall happen on Saturday
> Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!
>
> Some other ideologies on ****
> Fundamentalism: If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are
> born again. (Amen!)
> Utopianism: This **** does not stink.
> Darwinism: This **** was once food.
> Capitalism: That's MY ****.
> Communism: It's everybody's ****.
> Feminism: Men are ****.
> Chauvinism: We may be ****, but you can't live without us...
> Commercialism: Let's package this ****.
> Impressionism: From a distance, **** looks like a garden.
> Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS.
> Creationism: God made all ****.
> Atheism: What ****? I can't believe this ****!
> Nihilism: No ****.

**** = sh1t.:))

An English professor wrote the words:
"A woman without her man is nothing." on the chalkboard and asked
his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

èombe :)))

:)

Man ðis patika :D
> Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!

ðis arî bij dikti labs:

> Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS.

nç, ðito es pie galda darbâ piekarinâðu. tikai zvaigznîðu vietâ bûs îstais :D